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I study in a relatively strict Convent school.
I like vintage stuff, 80s cartoons, Labyrinth & the Gilmore Girls.
Lousy in Chemistry (especially) & generally all the science/math subjects.
I use to learn French; & I'll most probably take it up after my Os.
Well. I think life is good. Sure, there are problems & stuff,
Ok. Admit it- I bore you. Since I've been craping
So uhm.
Death Cab for Cutie, Ocean Color Scene, Pedro the Lion, Jeff Buckley.
THE BOOKLIST:
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A flower for your vanity, a penny for your thoughts About the world's insanity and how we've gotten lost Strike up the band to play a song as we go waltzing by And fake a smile as we all say goodbye Goodbye, oh goodbye Say a prayer for recognition, kiss the ones you love Gather up the ammunition, sigh for all the lost Strike up the band to play a song as we go waltzing by And fake a smile as we all say goodbye Raise a glass for ignorance, drink a toast to fear The beginning of the end has come that's why we all are here Strike up the band to play a song and try hard not to cry And fake a smile as we all say goodbye Goodbye
I feel stupid. There was a flower bud growing from my cactus this morning, but now, it's dead. It withered and it's all black and ugh- gross. CACTUS DON'T DIE!!!! PLEASE! Ok. I have two cactus (cacti?) now. They're cute. I spent about 45 minutes picking them out of the whole hundred odd of their fellow friends. Well, lucky cacti. Both are green; one is prickly, the other is fuzzy. The fuzzy one is cute, looks like a hand, with rounded parts sticking out like fingers. I'm actually rather scared that they would drop out or something. That would seriously creep me out, for some weird reason or another. But, yeah. Darn, I so totally relate with Rory. Maybe we have some sort of a telepathic relationship or something. But then again, she's the model, the one girls would die to be like, and the one guys would die to be with. Oh sigh, teenage angst. How tragic. Boo, hoo. Get me some kleenex while I whine. Oh, sod off. (HAH) And please, I am so totally not crooked (read: crook-ed / into-girls.) Bimbotic, for the time being, maybe, perhaps, and definitely only for jokes when I'm in a good mood. But crook-ed? No thanks, I stick with boys. :) Mmm. Whats with the word crook-ed anyways? I never quite got it. It looks weird. The words don't go together well, or something to that effect anyway.
Boy, the coffee has really gotten to me. It's great, my dad just got a (joy!) coffee maker (is that the correct term?). Too bad my mum makes the worse coffee, to put it simply, and in her own words as well, "the coffee is like drain water." Oh well, it smelt great. That counts for something at least. Dum dee dum.
My sleeping hours are screwed. I need to buy more candles :) I used to keep all the melted wax in a box.. I'd burn them over and over again. Heh, but I threw them all away not too long ago. The binds are down in the morning; but when its all dark, during strange hours of the night, he draws them up again. Digital voices and the soft cries of grown men, unheard by even the closest pulse. Come all ye weary, come and find your rest. For the tree is now none- the tree that hid you as you found me.
Identification of ions and gases; what good does it do to me that I should memorize these facts, only to regurgitate them. Not intend To leave this castle full of empty rooms Our love the captive in the tower never rescued And all the victory songs Seem to be playing out of tune
It's raining again; soft, gentle, but desperate. My body keeps shivering. The substance. I keep searching for my substance, but my hands fall over hollow places. And I find nothing but myself, vacuous and wanting. This website tells me: You are worth exactly: $1,628,328.00.
I'd rather be worth 67 of your dollars anytime. I've got a new DIY shirt with some blood stains. Yesterday I was sewing one of my shirts when I pricked my thumb. The blood kept flowing, so I made little polka-dot patterns of them on the shirt. Haha. We're going for breakfast soon. My stomach is screaming hungry!! No international breakfast for us though. Probably cheap fast food or something. Heh. Had a weird dream last night. It was all disconnected and everything, so I can't quite remember every detail. All I remember is that one of my male friends was found pregnant. And in the dream, it didn't seem abnormal or anything, as if males having babies were a common occurance. Lol, but I remember feeling so devastated, because I liked him. And his baby wasn't mine or something. LOL. Strange, strange way of dreaming about love don't you think? Well, theres more to the dream, of course, but I shan't let you indulge in them. :) I guess I should talk about the Teachers Day Celebrations we had yesterday. Well, there was this "blessings session" done by the prefects for the teachers. They raised their arms above the teachers' heads and said some prayers. I realized that some of the prefects weren't even catholics or anything. I mean, they were merely following instructions. When you pray, you should pray sincerely, to God right? Not for men to see, nor for men's praises. But that's what it seemed to me. I don't know, I just felt weird.
Oh yeah. Today is mum's birthday. Bought her a never before gift. Lol. Ah. We've got the whole room to ourselves tonight. Sixteen floors high, and the view is incredible enough. :) It overlooks the Padang and St Andrew's cathedral. Aye, such places, such memories. In retrospect, its almost as if everything was a dream. Anyhow. The air is really cool, and I'm certainly enjoying every moment of it, since I'm getting increasingly irritated by the humid weather these days. Well, the city is bustling with energy, and obviously, that comes as no surprise huh. But it is such a sight to see it's bright vibrant lights and such, from way up here. Oh. And if you're wondering, I'm making (full) use of the free local calls service. Ha ha, not bad, eh? Oo, theres packets of chips and cans of coke strewn all over the carpet floor. Oh well. I think I'm gonna start dancing and jumping on the bed in my underwear or something. There should have been a party here. It's almost perfect in that sense. But what's a party without the people, I say. More misadventures later. ||| Friday, August 31, 2001 | 09:49 p.m. ||| More mistakes yet again as self esteem hits an all time low. The big plunge into the downward spiral. Why didn't you prove me wrong. (you said you'd never leave) TheLiarLeaderFollowsTheCrowdAndTonguesAreWaggingButMyWorldIsSilent.
I'm playing all my older mp3s tonight. Right now, Porcupine Trees is on, and I'm reminded of the times when I had them on constant replay mode on my MD. Its good music to listen to while sitting along crowded streets, watching people walk by. I can't find my spectacles, and I've resorted to wearing my old pairs. I say old pairs because, well, currently my degree is 300+.. the older pair is about 100+ and the other one is another 200. Yeah, so I have to wear two pairs of specs so that I can see properly. But I'm not doing that now. My computer is relatively close, so I can see everything well and clear. Uhm. My eyes are super dry, even when I don't sleep with my contacts on.
I shall go write in the nice pink book now.
I'm typing in the dark right now. If I switch on the lights, my mother would know I'm awake. And we don't want that now, do we. Well. I can't believe I cried while watching Felicity. Man am I pathetic or what. It was the whole letting go thingy with Noel. Guess that kinda killed me. Its just kind of familiar that's all. But I still think that Felicity is too dramaish. There's always someone getting depressed, or someone being involved in (o horror) yet another scandal. what's gonna happen next?, will she or will she not? Uhm. Anyhow. It rained really heavy today & we were practically drenched from head to toe. Ahh, that was kind of fun- running like mad while trying to keep our eyes open (the wind kept blowing rain into our eyes) And we kept screaming like insane school girls. Duh. :) It was really hard to concentrate for the next 2 hours of math later on. Oh. We got back our A math test at school today. I passed :) Yup, finally passed. I scored a 36 out of 50 and that's pretty reasonable marks for me I say! Now I just have to get my other topics (subjects for that matter) straight. Sigh. I'm checking my email now, and I realized that majority of the mails I get are all trash. Chain letters, and what not. Bleh. I've just received this email talking about "Penis Enlargements and the benefits of Viagra." I wonder how these damn companies (or whatever) get my email address. Maybe through some random search- but still. Oh wait, look. Now I've got some porn-star '16' year old chick advertising about the 'photos I took at camp'. Doesn't this shite bore you? It sure bores me alright. Oh yeah, I'm still considering the drama workshop thingy. Its not a professional drama course or anything, but its interesting. I could make some friends, learn stuff from them, get some exposure- what's there to lose? LOL. "DIETITIAN Jocelyn Chia of the Department of Nutrition and Dietetics at KK Women's and Children's Hospital, says the main ingredients in 'energy drinks' are carbohydrates, caffeine, taurine and B vitamins. CARBOHYDRATES are your body's main source of energy or calories. If taken in excess (more than your body requires) it can lead to weight gain." Oops. "..energy drinks may not be good for: People with gastritis: Increase the flow of gastric juices." Go me. I hate Geography. It's common sense. But you still have to study to be able to pass. Because they only award you marks when you write down exactly what the book says. Pui. Stupid books.
Ok. I'm biased. I'm rather surprised that I didn't feel the least bit tired during church service & chemistry tuition today, despite the fact that I only had 4 hours of sleep last night. But now I'm really sleepy. Drank some coffee but it didn't work. And theres the Geography test tomorrow. Perhaps I'll drink my Red Bull :) Haha, I love Red Bull. Hm. Today's message gave me some interesting insights to the topic of Love vs Lust. For example, the term "Making Love" isn't right. Sex doesn't create love in anyway, it is a form of expression for love that has already been there. I'm making sense right. Hm. Thus, it should be termed as "Saying love" instead. Oo. I thought it was really sweet when the speaker said that when he and his wife were dating, they hardly did anything. And when people asked him, "then how would you know if it's good when you finally marry?" He said something like, "because I'm marrying her." I might have missed out something. I just remembered thinking to myself: Wow. That's quite amazing. Haha.
Aaaaaah. Why do I always screw up my sleeping hours? I'm supposed to be organized here. Its already drawing near to the exams. I can't believe this.
Hmm. Look what I found.  Aw. Adorable little things eh? But anyway, I prefer the White Grape one. Actually, I'm growing quite sick of the drink. I guess the novelty wears off for stuff like that. Same goes for bubble tea. Currently, I prefer the ice coffee in school anytime.I didn't get to buy my shoes today. But we had a nice dinner at a cosy little German restaurant. In fact, I wouldn't call it a restaurant. Its a really casual place, like a cafe of sorts. I think it's run by a family too. Anyway, good food for me. I had the meat-loaf with fried egg and potatoes as well as some clam chowder. Yah, I'm a pig. I'm a food enthusiast. What can I say. Ha.
Yay. I found the Portishead CD Marcus gave me. Almost thought I lost it. I'm trying on some ginseng mud mask. It smells awful. Yeuk. I'm wondering if I update this thing too much. I must seem like some no-lifer, being online almost 24/7. Hmmm. Lets ponder on that. I'll go sleep soon. I am so totally in love with the Gilmore Girls. Hmm, take a look at Alexis Bledel in her modelling days. She looked too skinny. Anyway. Yup, I'm at home. Supposed to be studying right now. I'll get to it soon I hope. I skipped chinese tuition this morning. It starts at 8:30am and I slept at 3am last night, what do you expect! Uhh, I woke up at 12. :) And obviously, my parents were really angry. Thus, I'm staying home the entire afternoon to supposedly study. I will. I really will. I've heard of Lomography on the Internet for some time now, but I never really knew what it could do. (I thought it was an ordinary camera, and that "Lomo" was the tecnhique in which photos are taken) Uhh, something along that line, anyway. Well, check out the Life section of the Strait Times today and you'll know what I'm talking about! These cameras are uber-cool! Man. They are relatively affordable, and if I'm not wrong, they'll be out in Singapore later this year. *hint hint* Ok. I'm being dumb. I'm gonna buy new skool shoes tonight (I hope) I was eyeing this white Vans pair I saw at World of Sports the other day. It was on (super)sale, $40 only! But as usual, it didn't have my size!! It's always the case. Hope we get lucky tonight though. Of course there is the Upland Tones, which changes colour in sunlight. Ha. Neato. Anyhow, people (ie teachers & parents especially) have been complaing about the old pair of Nikes I've been wearing to school since '99. Inevitably, it has started to turn yellow and has these really obvious holes. Well. I love my shoes. They're sooo comfortable :) ok. Enough shoe talk! There's Geography & Chemistry to worry over. ||| Saturday, August 25, 2001 | 02:50 p.m. ||| Technology kills all forms of relationships. I'm talking about "In Real Life" types. Not the cyber ones we form while spending hours lurking around empty chatrooms. Just hoping, and wishing we'd find the so called "soul-mate". Sure, we aren't that stupid, to think of finding one. We're definitely smarter than that. But I, for one, can say that I've formed numerous friendships here on the internet. And perhaps, dare I say, I wouldn't have as many friends as I have now if it weren't for relay chats. Emotions are expressed in the mere text you read. Do we actually realize what we're doing? Each word we type out here, on the internet, we are accountable for. But feelings change, and what once was "love" might now become "hate" (for instance) Technology takes away the courage to face up to problems. Because we feel that its a way of seeking "solace" by expressing ourselves on the internet. I mean, sure, I certainly don't doubt that, in fact that's how I feel myself. It's just that, we have less courage to open up to people. We don't say "sorry" or sometimes "i love yous" that much anymore. Instead, we have our handphones, or the internet to do that for us. And because you can't see the person when he/she tells you something, you wouldn't be sure of what he's really feeling. Am I making sense here? I'm just clearly bothered by the fact that technology will one day take away relationships. It's happening now isn't it? Just take a look at our lives. :( I dunno. I'm a definite victim of this though. So its not as if I'm like pointing fingers.. I really am caught up in this shite also. Isn't it strange how you could "talk" to someone online for 3 hours straight or something, but when it comes to Face-to-Face real talk, it gets so much more scarier. Why? Because it's real? Then why do we complain that we're (everyone is) fake? Its all the same isn't it? We complain about our pathetic little lives, or we gripe about people we detest here online. Ah, the freedom of speech huh? But in real life, our mouths are shut. We literally grin and bear with it. Hm. Hypocrisy.
I know, I know. Its like I'm writing an essay or something. Its just that I have somewhat strong feelings (positive or negative I wouldnt know) towards this whole internet & depression thingy. Somehow it all seems like a vicious cycle. I really need to like read through what I've written and try to practice what I preach. Haha. I'm terrible huh.
Anyway, if I'm like not making sense to you or something, you're most probably right. I'm feeling dehydrated right now.
:) Finally finished the layout for my pita (is that how I should call it?!) Its a pinky one for now, something that I never thought I'd ever come up with. Uhm, yea. The week passed real fast, what with all the tests and the various activites. My five item test included. I deproved tremendously this year. Guess thats not really surprising- I haven't been consistent in exercising at all. (huo2 gai1!) If you're curious, I did get my Gold *grins.. but yeah. I'm just a little disappointed. Anyhow. Shiping and I did some Chemistry at Macs today. Yippie yai yay huh. Its a start at least! I'm craving for a ice mocha right now. ||| Friday, August 24, 2001 | 10:08 p.m. ||| Red Bull is good. Keeps me really awake. I've finally gotten a pita. A blog.. a whatever. This is good. A math & chinese test tomorrow. I'm not as worried for the latter as I am for math. A math kills me. Same for the rest of the math/science subjects. So yes! I've gotten an account here at Pitas! Quite exciting huh. I'll design some rubbish for this tomorrow or something. I ought to get to bed soon. I'm physically exhausted, but my mind is wide, wide awake. Drats. ||| Friday, August 24, 2001 | 01:05 a.m. ||| |
15 S'porean. Student. Narcissist. Pig.
