rachel writes in disjointed sentences which resembles a 9 year old's work. I am the daydreamer on your SBS rides- with my head knocking against window panes whenever the bus jerks. I am going to compile all my quirky little dreams into a book & sell it. And yes, I want to be a millionaire. I have been living in Singapore all 15 years of my life. Studying in a relatively strict convent school has taught me the simple lessons of life: The Art of Bitchiness (& other survival skills.) Watching the Discovery Channel calms me down.

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o Monday, November 12, 2001 o

Plane crashhh. And I'm online checking out Topshop's website. Perfect.

» 11:00 p.m.

o Monday, November 12, 2001 o

I am feeling fat and sad. I wish those two words rhymed though. It would be cuter that way. Oooffferdofferus. Web cam girls kick more bootay than me. Damn. Mmmmme feel empty and undelicious. Shall be out tonite!

» 06:37 p.m.

o Monday, November 12, 2001 o

Some dreams that I had in the past week.
1) Sex with faceless person on an MRT train, while ex-boyfriend sits opposite me and looks on expressionessly.
2) About to leave for Switzerland when ex-boyfriend tells me he wants to take me out.
3) Was accused of committing a crime, and was given the death penalty. The court gave me a few days to go out and do whatever I want before receiving it. I took part in a relay race, but when it came to my turn, I couldn't move at all. I was also at the shoes department of a shopping mall, when I realized that policemen were hiding in corners and stalking me. I remember waking up crying from this dream.

Haha, I should compile my dreams into a book. I have such a warped mind :(

» 06:22 p.m.

o Monday, November 12, 2001 o

Bad day.
1) EMOTE HAS DELETED MY ACCOUNT, WHICH EXPLAINS THE (very ugly) BROKEN IMAGES!
2) IRRITATING SISTER USED MY SPANKING NEW BLADES WITHOUT ASKING ME, AND NOW IT HAS SCRATCHES ALL OVER IT!
3) THE WALLET I WANTED TO BUY IS SOLD OUT.

MAN I am so pissed. This is one of the times when I so totally, do not like my sister. I told her to clean my blades for me till they look brand new again. Oh yeah, I detest my sister's friends as well. One of them actually stained (yes, blood) MY chair and didn't bother to apologize or try to clean it off. Stupid. Another of them broke the handle of the same chair. Stupid kids. I always give them the evil eye whenever they come. Haha. I'm the evil sister, no doubt.

» 03:11 p.m.

o Friday, November 9, 2001 o

I sleep but I will not move, too scared to leave my room. But I won't be defeated, no.

Sometimes if you want something bad enough, you just have to use your initiative. Shan't elaborate further since I have nothing worthy to say. So. I had a rather fun time during the last 3 days, at least much more than I had initially expected. It was a whole lot of frivolous fun, which was perfect for taking my mind off things. One thing I have noted however, I am, as always, retarded at card games, and even worse at relationships.

Yet, I don't care. I can never appease everyone anyway. The truth is, I am feeling disappointed not only in people around me, but in myself. I wish I didn't have to be so picky, or so damn analytical. It is almost automatic, the way I switch so easily from Miss Bimbotic herself to teen-angst queen. This is both good, and bad, depending on circumstances. Oh well. Revolting, isn't it?

» 10:43 p.m.

o Tuesday, November 6, 2001 o

And to prove that I'm not an internet whore (as some of you might think), I am going to stay away from the internet for 3 days. Mm actualllly, no. I'll be in a faraway place called East Coast, where dreams come true and love is in the air.

My mother tells me to beware of boys and kids with drugs. She is soo worried for me. I know I'm supposed to complain about her and say "she is such a bitch!", because, afterall I'm 15. I'm supposed to have issues. But nah, I love my mum. I just hope she doesn't make spotchecks. :)

» 11:34 p.m.

o Tuesday, November 6, 2001 o

RULE #1 for being a good online 'journaller':
Rant about your pathetic little life. (It might be the same as 10000 people over the internet, but, who cares, life sucks!)
RULE #2:
Talk mysteriously about people. But when questioned in real life, tell them that you have no idea what they're talking about. (this is a great method in making people feel like idiots.)
RULE #3:
The more guestbook entries, the better. (shameless advertising always works)
RULE #4:
When people critisize you, pout, (or in this case, write an angsty poem) and tell them that they will never understand, and it's your life, anyway!
RULE #5:
Learn how to create dramatic effects to spice up otherwise ordinary and mundane entries about your life.

I am such an expert! And yes, for the hypocritical line of the day.. "I hate the internet!" No really, it does make hypocrites out of people. Ok, now I sound really screwed.

» 11:10 p.m.

o Sunday, November 4, 2001 o

I am suuuch a slacker. Was out the entire week-end! I just came back from hi-tea and a little shopping with my parents. Yesterday was spent shopping (again), and dinner was at my aunt's place where we had yummylicious home-made cookies. Yeah, and I have my O level chinese paper tomorrow. Ha..

» 05:31 p.m.

o Saturday, November 3, 2001 o

you say, i only hear what i want to.
you say, i talk so all the time, so.

Reminder to self: I am not allowed to screw up; I've used up all my chances. I'm walking on a tight-rope, my voice, straining above the cacophony. I dreamt that someone cut my cactus (such audacity!) and I cried and cried. Rachel is a victim of fantasy, merging reality with dreams till everything entwines as one.

Off to tuition with an elegy in my head.

» 07:50 a.m.

o Thursday, November 1, 2001 o

How in the world did I get myself listed in search engines, eh? Here are some of the search engine queries made by people who stumbled across my page: Alexis Bledel Porn, guys craping on girls and of course, narcissist rape. Bet these perverts must have been disappointed when they saw my site. Ha. And nope, I didn't cut my hair. Photo was taken after school, with my hair tied up.

» 10:11 p.m.

o Thursday, November 1, 2001 o

Cooler than you! Halloween, distributing sweets, wearing tons of make-up, playing card games, 3am pillow fights, breakfast-in-bed and skipping school (just to name a few) certainly made me a happy girl.

» 06:19 p.m.