[ popping balloons. ]
Thursday, January 15, 2004
I've just finished uploading the Canada/US photos I took in November! Finally, right? Go check them out, it's linked on the right column. I felt kinda disappointed that my photos sucked, but at the same time.. looking through them again makes me feel so nostalgic! Don't just view them as thumbnails though. Cause they look really crappy like that. Heh. :)
A few nights ago, I watched Se7en! Yup, finally... And I LOVED it! It's definitely one of my favourite movies man. The ending was so good.. but not as good as American History X. Haha! Last night was spent watching Pinter's The Lover and The Dumb Waiter! I really liked 'The Lover'! It's comic yet, somewhat creepy.. not because of the erotic fantasies (!) and role playing... but that it's probably not uncommon.. ;) It's true right? We're always portraying different sides of ourselves to suit different occasions, hell, even different times of the day!
Can't really think straight right now cause I'm feeling damn excited. Maybe cause it's a Friday tomorrow. Finally. Finally, a Friday. I thought I would wilt and die just passing through the week alone.
11:37 p.m. ][
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[ you're just somebody that i used to know ]
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
I want very badly to hibernate under my covers. No dreams this time, none to put fancy ideas in my head. We studied Hard Times during literature class today, but ironically enough, it's not imagination that I want right now. I've just about had enough of all this dreaming, of making me feel like if I could actually achieve something. No more fairy tales, no more cleverly fabricated stories of dreams turning into reality for me.
04:16 p.m. ][
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[ wit and truth ]
Monday, January 12, 2004
We watched Wit last week during lit lecture. Got hold of an extract of the play today. Here's one of the parts I like best. As said by Prof. E.M. Ashford in the play (with regard to Donne's holy sonnet),
~
It reads:
And death shall be no more, comma, Death thou shalt die.
Nothing but a breath - a comma - separates life from life everlasting. It is very simple, really. With the original punctuation restored, death is no longer something to act out on a stage, with exclamation points. It's a comma, a pause.
This way, the uncompromising way, one learns something from this poem, wouldn't you say? Life, death. Soul, God. Past, present. Not insuperable barriers, not semicolons, just a comma.
~
Instead of,
"And Death shall be no more;
Death, thou shalt die!"
What a difference punctuation makes. But then, I realize that it's not just about punctuation, or stylistic expressions. "It is not wit. It is truth."
These days I do not feel very comfortable with posting here. I only do so out of obligation, I suspect. And hence, I have retreated to writing someplace else. There's a lot of sorting out to be done around here. I've got a whole life ahead to sort out and it scares me. I've to sort out paper work, schedules, aspirations, the future, my heart. Some days you just feel so incredibly small.
10:12 p.m. ][
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[ and he tasted like black cherries. ]
Monday, January 5, 2004
I'm bored. So here are some photos. In chronological order. Mouseovers too!
Shiping, Boon and I on Christmas. I love your presents! (I mean, the ones you got me! Although I do love the ones I gave you guys too! Haha.)
Pris, Boon, Shantelle, Simin, Lydia and I on New Year Eve, with ice-cream and a toast to end of 2003.
All of us, with sparklers. :) Reminds me of the time we spent on the rooftops of certain shopping malls, just talking, just dancing, laughing and crying. At Wisma, Paragon.. I miss those times!
My Haagen Dazs and I. Yum. To the memories we've shared, and to the memories we'll create. Oh, of course Yvonne!- To world peace too!
09:09 p.m. ][
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[ the passing of time ]
Thursday, January 1, 2004
I woke up to a new year this morning and left behind the bittersweet dream of 2003. Like most of my dreams, I left this one hanging, but unlike most of them, this one is not to be forgotten. And so, I am writing, I am penning this down because perhaps I might forget one day.
Some days I wake up blind, and I see nothing. I question and I complain, I hold tirades in my head, crazy in my own confusion, wishing the walls that surround me to disappear. But this morning, I wake up and I see light, I see You as I should have every morning. And I can safely say that it has been good, and all has been well. And it really has been a good day to start of the new year, despite my initial pessimism and well, just plain cynicism on my part.
I could wish for a fresh beginning, for sweeter dreams, for more poignant memories in the year ahead.. but before I could do so, I wish for a closure of 2003. (It is 2004 now, I know, but somehow I still cling to the comforts of the days I knew. ) So for all that mattered in 2003, the friendships, the love, the family.. it has been worthwhile. I've faltered, I've cried, I'm still far from perfect but because of what I've been blessed with this year, I am happy. And while I feel that I've grown in some ways, I know that I am so limited in so many other infinite number of ways, and maybe, perhaps as the years go by, I will finally understand, I will finally complete this puzzle of the passing of time.
11:32 p.m. ][
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