Thursday, October 24, 2002 10:18 p.m. I didn't smell anything vaguely like sulphur dioxide during QA today. And that's not all, but complaining won't get me anywhere, so I'll refrain from it. Blah. Well. On a lighter note, I've had 4 brownies and ice cream already in one week alone! Olio Dome, Haagen-Dazs and twice at this cute cafe in Toa Payoh. Totally unplanned and with different people at each time! Good thing we shared the brownies, or I would have stuffed myself silly and probably beyond recognition. Looks like I have to stay off brownies for some time now!
All my frustration over school is going to evaporate as I sleep tonight. It's going to disappear tomorrow when I awake, dress up, and head down town for some hard core shopping!! ;)
Friday, October 18, 2002 10:27 a.m. Good morning world! :) Woke up late for school today, but it's not that bad, only missed chinese! Oops. Wellwellwell, I'm in my too-large-for-me PJs, having a sandwich for breakfast. Gonna get ready to leave the house soon, cause it's yet another open house day! HIT THAT JIVE JACK! Okay, I have no idea what that means :) It's some jazz number. I gotta take a shower now, so ciao!
Wednesday, October 16, 2002 09:21 p.m. I look like an alien in that photo! But hey, I like silly photos, cause I'm the epitome of all things silly..heh. Ooh, guess what? Last night's "I'm-gonna-laze-around-a-bit" turned out to be a 10 hour long hibernation!! Man! It's not like I was tired because of swimming laps at the pool or anything. In fact, all we did was splash around and play silly water games. :) Well, all that mindless screaming (boy was that a blast!) from playing "The Wall" (it's a self-invented water game) left me with a hoarse voice instead!
Recess at school today was quite a riot! I swear I've never seen that many fried wan tons in my entire life. We're talking about mountains of greasy, unhealthy fried food! Even as I stood in the canteen, I felt each pore of my face ooze with oil. Well, it tasted good, and I guess an (occasional!!) unhealthy diet can't be all that bad, eh? After a long (it's always long, no matter what time it ends) day at school, I went shopping with mum. Bought a black dress from RipCurl. We were on the hunt for winter wear for our holiday in December. Found an amazing, beautiful, totally gorgeous jacket from Mango. But dang, they didn't have it in my size!! Well, seems like all the Mango outlets in town ran out of it! That's plain crazy! I didn't know winter wear could sell so fast in sunny Singapore! I'm going to check out other ulu Mango outlets to see if they still carry it in my size. It's a perfect jacket! Another thing, I don't have school tomorrow. I ought to study. In fact, I desperately need to study. "Not studying" shouldn't even be an option right now. So, I hereby declare that I will study tomorrow! Convincing, huh? :)
Tuesday, October 15, 2002 06:09 p.m. Just came back from Boonie's place! She, Ping and I went swimming.. and what can I say? We had a splashing good time! :) We actually planned to go swimming today because the weather had been so hot and humid, but lo and behold, it poured and poured this afternoon! Talk about unpredictability! Fortunately for us all, the rain ceased by the time we got to her place. I'm gonna laze around a bit right now.. :)
Sunday, October 13, 2002 11:00 p.m. Whoa-hey! Just came back from Oktoberfest at the club! :) (for the uninformed, it's a German festival! ironically, I think it's over already!) Well, anyhow, boy was it funkaay, and I had a lovely time! Upon reaching the club, we were greeted by the wonderful sounds of the live band! The band was superb! It consisted of about 9 members, and they were all so good! Especially the vocalist, he was this big, jovial looking guy and I liked him so much because he sang so well and he really looked like he was having the time of his life! It feels great to see a musician enjoying his art. :) Had deliciously (oily) German sausages for dinner, al fresco style. The weather was pretty good, not as humid as it was the day before. Went indoors to the cafe for a drink after that. Ended up having an iced mocha and a slice of cheese-cake. How can something that tastes so good be so bad?? :)
Proceeded outside again to listen to the music and wait for the lucky draw results (we were given lucky draw coupons for each set dinner we ordered). Didn't managed to win anything though..bummer! The band played songs like Besame Mucho, Fly Me to The Moon and Mambo Number 7. Very cute stuff to boogie to actually. :) Too bad I've two left feet. I requested for the jazzed up version of Autumn Leaves! But apparently the line dancers wanted their share of country music, so. Well, I had some Irish draught beer to drink while enjoying the live music, so it wasn't that bad afterall. Besides, the country music they played was a fusion of jazz as well! Hmm, the atmosphere was pretty cool, with couples on the dance floor and all. Minus the fact that there was this drunk fella making a fool of himself. Ironically, he snagged the 1st prize of a 0 air ticket at the lucky draw. Anyway, his idea of dancing was lifting up his knees and bopping his head furiously. And I thought I was bad! :)
I almost forgot that there's school tomorrow. Oops? Oh well. Here's part of the English version of Autumn Leaves, although I think I prefer the French version Les Feuilles Mortes! Wonderful, classy and absolutely romantic. :)
The falling leaves drift by the window
Saturday, October 12, 2002 11:11 p.m. Fantastic day!! Came home at about ten thirty, the soles of my feet were practically crying out in pain and my entire body felt like it was covered in slime. But nonetheless, it was a superb day! :) Met up with my school mates for brunch at Casurina. I'm in love with the cheese prata, it's really, really good. Hopped into a cab afterwhich for NJC's open house! It was quite fun, considering I got a lovely purple & pink flower sculptured ballon! They also gave us a whole paper bag of goodies, which came in pretty useful toward the end of the day. Newater and a packet of lemon barley especially, since it was an extremely hot day!
Went to Daryl's house to bum around after that, while the rest went to VJC. Anyway, today's weather almost killed me! I was practically melting in the sweltering heat! I was drenched in perspiration by the time I got to Daryl's place. Gross huh? Had a late lunch of Hokkien mee there. Hmmmm! Went for YF after that and it was really fun! We hand made samosas and curry puffs! :) Was pretty fun, considering that I can't cook to save my life. Daryl made me a fried samsoa heart!! But, alas, someone ate it by mistake...! Oh well, more chances to come! Haha. Played Captain's ball after all the rather exhausting activities, and it was funfunfun! Daryl bought me a rocky road icecream after that because it was sooo hot and I felt sooo gross and sticky. YAY! :D I love rocky road. Hmm, walked around with Serene and we had a good time just chatting. Oh, and I bought this pretty skirt for . Quite a steal huh? SOO happy. :)
Oooh, we're listening to the Carpenters tonight. what the world needs now is love, sweet love.....
Friday, October 11, 2002 11:33 p.m. Wow, I do look sleepy..buggerit!! My eyes can hardly keep open even as I type this. Hm, if I went out with Daryl every night, I would develop abs in no time, I always end up laughing till my sides hurt so bad! And it's of course fantastic that I can increase my vocab and sound intellectual at the same time. :) Haha! We're weird. I feel so enriched, heh. Oh well, it has been an incredibly long day, didn't even get time off for my afternoon ritual.(read: cat-nap) Got home not too long ago from a wonderful Gumbo rice dinner. :) Shall retreat to my bed in no time for sweet, dewy slumber. :) I'm as contented as a kitten tonight. Sweet dreams!
Thursday, October 10, 2002 05:03 p.m. Not bad. I slept for three hours last night because amazingly, I was on a geography high. But that aside, despite the few hours of sleep I had, I didn't feel as lethargic as I did in school yesterday. Coffee is my ally. But I do need to get rid of my eyebags because I think it's starting to get really obvious, to the point where I actually feel and look like a panda. Okay. I need a cold shower right now, the humidity here drives me crazy!! Gonna be spankin' clean!
Wednesday, October 9, 2002 10:19 p.m. I just got home! It was great, as it always is with you. Even better than the chocolates I bought after school in an attempt to lift my spirits today. In fact, 'better' is but an understatement! I shall make myself a mug of coffee- I have tons of work to complete. As darkness envelopes the earth, so does night hang upon my eyes. That's incredibly cheesy, but rather true. School has been so absolutely boring for the past few days; we end at 3:30pm and it's literally draining me, sapping me of all energy. I find myself feeling so lethargic in the afternoon, I can hardly concentrate on my work. I suppose instead of lamenting, I should direct what's left of my energy into completing my geography assignments. Bon nuit mes cheries!
Tuesday, October 8, 2002 10:18 p.m. Okay, I know it sucks. I just had to do away with the old layout. Also, it is my first time experimenting with photoshop and brushes, explaining the awful mess you see. I actually wanted to compile all my poems and proses into a nice, neat page. They're all over the place- scattered at different URLS, on my bed, in my drawers, scribbled on scrap papers. I'm not a very organized person. Well, I'm not going to do all that today. I'm supposed to be in the depths of my books right now, so off I go.
Saturday, October 5, 2002 09:46 p.m. Just got home from a buffet dinner at Hotel Negara. It was a dinner celebration for Olivia's birthday! I'm so full I think I'm going to explode! I had my favourite bread pudding for dessert. ;) Tonight, I'm listening to Robbie Williams! He's such a cutie and furthermore he did a cover of How Deep Is Your Love. I love that song! Okay. I'm really going to have to study now. :) I'm feeling really happy tonight, can you tell? Only thing is that I think I'm coming down with a sore throat. Mm, blame it on the chocolates and desserts! :) Either that, or it's Daryl. Haha.
Saturday, October 5, 2002 12:02 p.m. Chocolates bring pleasure and the doctrine of pleasure is hedonism. ;)
Friday, October 4, 2002 11:02 p.m. I'm not going back on what I've said previously. But the fact is that I can't deny that I need a place to express myself. (well, more like my daily dosage of talking cock) SO HERE I AM! :) And I figured its a good way to de-stress myself, lest I explode like a zit. Well, that was a short hiatus eh. Anyway, I'm just here to proclaim that the chocolates from Sins are really divineee! Orgasmic chocolates! Yum! I just ate one and it's really, really good. Food for thought! (I'm insane in the membrane, insane in the brain!) It's a song. :) I also went bowling today and it was a whole lot of fun! Okay. I'm going to study now. Later kids.
Thursday, October 3, 2002 06:41 p.m. A body of flawed beauty, intertwined with the perfection of fantasy. The smooth arch, a poetic curve, defining the tenderness of her. Her hair is long and it flows like the waves of a stormy night. A mess of tangles, of dirt and the scent of earth. Her eyes are like the fires that burn between the gleaming bodies of lovers.
I think I've been influenced by Jeanette Winterson's The Powerbook. I wrote the above while admiring the paperback cover of the book I'm currently absorbed in. Not bad, and I really do think that the female body is quite exquisite. Although most of us are blinded by lies we constantly feed ourselves, of what we should be, or seem. Last night I motivated myself to do my math papers. I was strangely inspired to write this rather irrelevant poem (irrelevant, I think or I don't quite know why so.) I didn't complete it last night though, because suddenly this whiff of sadness hit me and I began to cry. A harsh scrutiny of my glaring night light.
VENUS
grasping like a climbing plant, I completed the poem this afternoon, maybe that's why it seems so..flawed. And that I can only attempt to write poetry, attempt to string together words I sometimes hardly comprehend, but only use because each is perfect in it's own mysterious way. I think I just contradicted myself somewhere along the line. Strangely enough, I'm listening to Pink Floyd's Dark Side Of The Moon. It's a strange song which repeats the phrase 'the lunatic is inside my head.' I'm not a lunatic, but I think I won't be updating this for a while.
Please feel free to send me death threats if you see me online. That is, if you think you're eligible to. And if you're curious about my prelim results, I didn't do as badly as I actually deserved and for that, I truly am thankful to God. He's been helping me so much despite my unfaithfulness. However, it is human nature to desire more, not solely because I am greedy, but also because I know I can achieve more if only I truly put my heart to it. I know this because I was never consistent with my revision, only starting a week before the actual papers. I also realized that results are always a matter of perception. For example, 7 points might be extremely dissatisfactory to one, but to another, achieving 15 is contentment in itself. Really, one man's food is another man's poison. Well, I hope this new found motivation is not just from the usual afterglow (or harsh realization) of an examination. Either way, I ought to work hard. I know I always say this, but just for formalities' sake, don't miss me! :)
Monday, September 30, 2002 11:32 p.m. This evening, my father, sister and I sang along to the dulcet vocals of Karen Carpenter in the car. As a kid, I loved singing songs from the Carpenters. I think my parents were pretty proud of me. Sometimes they tell me stories of my toddler days- how I could sing and dance and paint and act. It's strange, but I'm jealous of the little girl I once was, the sweet little thing that everyone cooed over. Although none of us spoke to each other during that short period of time, I felt strangely warm. I fell asleep in the back seat, my head uncomfortably resting on my velvet cushion which was propped up against the window. I woke up with a strained neck and a gnawing feeling in me.
Sunday, September 29, 2002 01:10 p.m. I'm waiting for my pasta (it's cooked maggi mee style) right now, yum. It's a wet Sunday afternoon, perfect for those lazy sleep-ins we all love. Ah well. I so wanted to go out with Daryl tonight, but he's going to study. *snorts*
Haha, sorry. :D Anyway, I'm really hungry right now. Didn't have breakfast because my maid made peanut butter sandwiches which incidentally, I hate. It sticks to your teeth. My pasta's here. My dad bought like packets and packets of them from Germany and its really YUMMY! Oh yeah, yesterday, my family had lunch at this cool Italian restaurant at the Esplanade. It overlooks the waterfront and the merlion, and it's quite a quaint little place. :) Super good food, although the service was quite slow. Think it's because they just opened, so they weren't very organized. I even loved the vegetables, haha! The vegetables and potatoes were mashed together into a green.. mash. And it was good! Oh, and I must say, the dessert was quite superb, really divine and sweet. I would have eaten more of it if I weren't so bloated! Anyway, I was so extremely full, I could hardly walk straight after that! How embarrasing, huh? Yesterday at the Esplanade, people were using chalk to draw on the walkways. I drew some stuff and did a shameless advertisement for my site, haha! I'll wait for Sam to send it over to me cause he kindly took a photo of it. How silly. :) Well, after that, my parents fetched us to the Helping Hand for YF. It was pretty interesting. Hmmm. Ok, I think I'm gonna finish up my pasta and take a cat-nap after this. :D
Saturday, September 28, 2002 10:58 a.m. Someone signed my guestbook and asked me if I'm from HCJC. (read: top-notch, prestigious college) Two words, I wish. Sweetie, I am but a secondary 4 student, faced with the daunting O levels that will either make, or break me. The future lies in my hands (in a way it does), but yet there it lies with all the uncertainty in the world! The mere thought of the future is so unnerving and exciting all at once. I have dreams, unrealistic as they might seem, and I don't know how long these dreams will last till they're once and for all shattered, I don't know how long these dreams will remain as such, as unfulfilled fantasies of an infantile, imaginative and idealistic mind.
I reached home at 12 last night, feeling almost like Cinderella. Smudged off the black of my eyes, slipped off my jeans that was irritating my skin after walking so much and took a refreshing cold shower. Last night was funny. It started off with me being peeved off, but as the night went by, everything simply fell into place. :) A simple bit of magic never fails to sweep me off my feet! Haha, thanks Darl! And it was a double joy for me when I got home too, because I received my BonneBell smacker in Brownie Cheesecake in the mail! Now I can have delectable lips that smell of brownies! I suppose that might sound a little strange and almost gross to you, but it's cute, really. I still can't find my Lip D'votion in strawberry fraise. I think the Borrowers have come again. I simply couldn't find my brand new lipgloss after searching high and low for it. It's not as if I have a gigantic house where things can easily go missing. Oh well.
Woke up this early this morning feeling slightly snappish. Quarrelled with my mum a little because she started to go all philosophical by giving a long lecture from an ordinary conversational topic of inconsiderate neighbours hanging their lingerie outside. You know how it is, she'll complain about how people don't take responsibility etc, and eventually she'll bring the lecture into one full circle by somehow making it a fitting opportunity to complain about the family's irresponsibility. Like, hello, what's the relevance? Anyway, I snapped back at her and before long, she began her famous "you're always attacking me" speech. I told her, "I don't need to be put on another guilt trip." Period.
Anyway, we're strange. We quarrel, but we make up. I don't ever apologize unless I'm forced to, but it's an unspoken thing. We make up, and everything goes on as usual. It's just the way things go around here. Anyhow, I think it's a Diana Krall morning. Hmm.
Wednesday, September 25, 2002 06:28 p.m. I've got a confession to make. I've been totally, hopelessly, compulsively, crazily addicted to taking neoprints! :) I especially love adding sparkles and little shiny things around our photos! They're waaay cute & pretty! And I think I could do with, or rather, I *need* retail therapy as well. I feel like I could raid each and every mall and shop I see! (if only I had the money to, of course.) I should curb my silly desires and wake up to the fact that it's totally detrimental. To my wallet, at least. No, I haven't been possessed, this is just me with one of my occasional girlish, slightly bimbotic tendencies! Doesn't come very often, but bear with it. Or face the wrath of an annoyingly chirpy 16 year old girl. :D The rain shall not dampen my spirits, it wouldn't dare! Ha! Besides, I know it won't last for long because of the impending doom of my prelim results and the irksome big Os. Totally cheesy I know, but, girls just wanna have fun, and damn, we deserve it!
Sunday, September 22, 2002 05:59 p.m. I wrote this late last night.
quixotic (for lack of a better title)
a lucent trail shines Just came back from Jean's place, after watching 4 short films & giving our views for Sam's project. I saw my primary one best friend in one of them, heh. Seems strange to think about the times we used to spend hiding under painting easels, dreaming about our future. We had a book where we penned all our secret aspirations- we wanted to be animal vets and set up a pet shop together. We were 6 or 7. Yeah. Anyhow, Daryl sent me back, although she lives a block opposite from mine! ;) Eh, I'm not an ingrate, so thanks sweets! Haha! Anyway, I totally detest the layout of my page right now. I desperately desire a change; I find everything a little too crammed for my liking! But of course, I cannot design webpages to save my life and well, I'm entirely dearth of ideas too. Yes, I'm pathetic. Oh, I'm listening to Sam's mp3 station right now (hey, free advertising for you, Sam) and it rocks because I get to listen to all the songs I adore, but don't have the access to. The quality is amazing as well. Okay, I'm going to wait under my sheets now. ;) Mmm, inside joke. Later.
Sunday, September 22, 2002 01:31 a.m. Romantic moon, whismical moon, an icy kiss for a slumber sweet. A shiver down my spine, in moments of fleeting pleasure.
The autumn leaves of red and gold
I see your lips, the summer kisses
The sunburned hands, I used to hold
Since you went away, the days grow long
And soon I'll hear ol' winter's song.
But I miss you most of all my darling,
When autumn leaves start to fall.
it's ruinous olive leaves
wrap around my beating heart.
moist, murderous tendrils
suffocate me, strengthening it's
harsh grip with every desperate breath of mine.
sulphurous, sharp thorns
lacerate the heart,
grating it's crimson flesh to debris.
it falls gently, like rose petals into
a bowl of fragrance water,
an ambrosia for the gods.
cruel and vicious little thing, Venus.
sweet, lying seducer and goddess.
with your bristled, rasping leaves
you swallow like a vacuous cave of sorrow.
deeper in your caress,
into the core of your honeyed venom,
awaits a death that crushes only the beautiful.
through the veils of my eyes.
an antique fabric of silk,
a stellar canopy of velvet,
the chimera of a rhapsodist.
softly as shadows swell
under the feet of thieves,
lurking, grasping
breaking the swarthy stillness
of twilight.
zephyr blows quixotic kisses
melting in the air,
flirting with the cotton sheets
of languished passion,
the wilderness of elysium.
till morning breaks through
my hard heart,
a fire raping me of my defenses,
till i lie broken, exposed
bewitched and seduced,
so is the desire of solemn consummation.
