SECRET PINT
The sky is a dark maroon right now, which actually reminds me of a big red bruise. Lightnings are flashing all across the sky, and strangely enough, I hear no thunder. Okok, the lightning isn't nearby. It's gonna rain soon! :) O, we all love some rain, especially at night. It just makes my bed exceptionally cosy, and I love the simple feeling of being snugged up safely under my comforter. :)
The neighbourhood children are carrying laterns outside. I love the traditional paper ones, that come in various shades of red and green. You light up a candle and place it ever so carefully into the latern. Haha, I used to feel so proud as a child everytime I played around with those laterns. I remember one year, when I was probably 9 or so, my friends and I would burn all the laterns up after we played with them. Well, as kids, fires didn't seem that dangerous (those who thought it was were wusses!) So yeah, it was pretty awesome for me back then, watching the fire slowly swallow up my pretty laterns. Oo well, Happy Mooncake Day :) Hehe. My estate is having some sort of celebrations- theres a man singing (screeching, really) a Hokkien song outside. Blah, noise pollution.
Oh. Today I got a free meal (nuggets + bubble tea). Haha. The waiter/cashier actually paid for me before I could. When I wanted to pay, the lady told me "He pay for you liao." Mm, I tried so many times to pay him back (it was $4.50), but he refused to accept anything from me. Hmm. Weird, I hate to feel obligated, you know?
Ah!! Finally it has started to rain! And rather heavily, I must add. Wow, the entire sky lights up each time theres a flash of lightning. Powerful! Poor kids can't play outside anymore. So much so for festivity. (Hokkien wannabe singer continues screeching) People are closing their curtains and shutting their windows. Blah, yet again, if it weren't for school tomorrow and exams, I would love to be outside in the rain :)
TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE
I refuse to talk about the happenings at school today, except for the fact that Shiping and I went quite insane at about 5pm. Its maths, I tell you. Ha, its soo funny. Shiping falling down, test-tubes and all, LOL. "I want to peeeee!" Aye, so funny. Somemore I had to carry this gigantic load of books. Mwahaaa! Ok. This probably doesn't sound very funny when I describe it, but trust me, we laughed till we wanted to cry and pee- at the same time. Laughter is contagious! (Math is a disease)
Okok. I was looking through some (of my mother's) boxes in my room and I found lots of nice stuff ;) Lots of vintage looking clothing. My favourite find so far would have to be this pleated checked skirt. Its super cute! Mwahaa. Love it! :) Oh well. More studying tomorrow. I really have to make full use of whatever little time I have now to study, if not I can totally forget about passing. (I know I'm online.)
Threatening, isn't it? But thats the local education system. Nothing seems more important than academic achievements. Mm. Mogwai calms me, though. Take me somewhere nice.
NOTHING MATTERS WHEN WE'RE DANCING
I'm gonna sleep now! Are you excited? My parents are having mooncake downstairs! They're laughing at something on TV. Anyway, I don't like mooncakes all that much. I know exactly what I want to do after the examinations. Haha. Besides mugging for the chinese Os, of course. I haven't forgotten about that.
I have nothing in particular to say now. Except maybe, my cactus is growing! Ok, I know I said that before. I'll take a picture one day. Its really cute :) Well, goodnight world. WORLD.
I AM ALIVE!!
I'm in a state of panic! I'm fully to blame, and that I'm aware of. I wouldn't be getting all stressed up right now, if only I had been good and diligent throughout the year. Most of my year end marks would be pulled down (drastically) by my CA marks. As usual, I didn't 'take pride in my work'. Hmm, I'm shameful is it? Blah. I guess I was just incredibly lazy. This is so going to change next year!
Am feeling terribly discouraged today. My brain isn't functioning as it should. In the lift, I heard voices that chanted 'you are the worst'. And then I kept thinking of my pen knifes. After which, I sat down to wait for my father to pick me up, and I was like, talking to myself, staring at my stupid E math paper. Haha. A couple walked passed. So I stopped. And began to try how long I could hold my breath for. I felt super dizzy. But my dad came :) And I hopped into the cosy back seat, feeling as small as can be. I must have fell asleep after that, because, before long, we were home. I feel safe now. I always do when I'm home. :) Man, what a long day. And you know, I really, really wanted to curse my head off throughout it. But well, I'm gonna be real good from now on.
Can't wait for everything to be over!!
ARE YOU PROTECTING ME
Do you think that the reason for my bingeing lately is due to examination stress? Hm. Me, stressed over exams? That's new. Haha. And if it were true, it might be too late. The exams are in a weeks time (what do you know) and I feel more or less, well, helpess.
I'm listening to Kent (again). A year ago, in the midst of love & exams (both obviously unrelated subjects), Kent kept me sane. I don't know, there's probably something soothing about it, despite it's sometimes depressing lyrics. "was it you holding too tight, was it me that was too weak. i will leave you where you lay, while i slip and slide away" and the pleads for "Protection". "And I tried so hard to make you smile, pretending that I'm someone else, because I really missed your smile."
I know this isn't the right time to dwell on such things that would only depress me futher, because, in the end, all it would do is screw my mind (even more). So yes, I have to study. It's mighty scary.
Something interesting: On the bus today, an elderly chinese woman came up to me and told me that I shouldn't marry Malay men. Hm. She's a total stranger, by the way, and from the way I see it, she's probably mentally unstable. Yup. She told me some stuff about Malays after that, but well, I won't have it up here, cause it's kind of weird. I'm not like racist or anything. So. Anyway, as you can imagine, I was trying to avoid any conversation with her, so I quickly went down when the bus reached my stop. Ha. Weird lady.
COOKIE CUTTER WORLD!
Too bad Channel 5 censored quite a bit from Great Expectations. :P My favourite part was when they, as kids, kissed under the water fountain. Haha. Its terribly, terribly sweet. Maybe I should read the book. I'm almost certain it would be very much different from the movie. But it was delicious, anyhow. Hehe. Ethan Hawke is amazing. Period.
I'm so glad. My cactus is growing! (Finally) Anyway, the air-con in our classroom is being replaced with a new one. We had lessons in the chemistry lab today. Blah, Mondays are silly. The lessons we have are all crap. O. Friends is about to start. Btw, I still can't believe Adriel isn't Gary Tan's brother! In fact, he says he hasn't even heard of him before! But they look exactly alike. How.. strange.
in and out of love, with you.
I'm listening to Alicia Key's Falling and How Come You Don't Call Me Anymore. Its the perfect song to have playing in the background while lazing on white fluffy beds with heart shaped pillows. Really. You can almost smell the sweet scent of bodies and strawberries.
Last night I watched the repeat telecast of America: A tribute to heroes. The Michael Jackon's Heal the World music video was played before that. To all the courageous firefighters and all who sacrificed their lives during this tradegy, rest in peace. I could shed tears for them, but I could never imagine the devastation their families would be in.
Oh well. Yesterday afternoon was well spent, as Shiping and I actually did a reasonable amount of studying! :) Yay! We had lots to eat, which made up for our disappointment in not getting out Pizza Hut meals. Stupid Pizza Hut, you cheated our money! :P Sort of, anyway.
YOU CARRY ON WITHOUT A DOUBT
What was I thinking when, the world didn't end?
This whole year has been nothing but low marks, or worse, red marks. Nothing eventful has happened, and I can hardly remember any event that could possbily change what I'm feeling now into something more positive. Ok, people screw up. But I've got pride, and I don't want to be viewed as a 'screw up'. To hell with all your judgemental views, to hell with all the paranoia in me.
Am not trying to be ungrateful. I'm just greatly disappointed with myself. I feel like I'm looking at myself from a 3rd person view; like I'm helpess to the situation I see. Tell me, is this just an excuse?
MMm. I'm high on butter and scones.
ARROGANT WORMS - I AM COW!
You want prophecies, I hear.
"And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. For nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestiliences, and earthquakes in divers places. All these are the beginning of sorows. Then shall they delived you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name's sake. And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another. And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many. And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold. But he that shall endure the end, the same shall be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come." Matthew 24:6-14
That speaks for itself, doesn't it? So much so for the Nostradamus e-mail. Embarrasing! Shame on you (if you actually believed it). Ok, I'm being mean :) Anyway, I guess I've been thinking too much of the whole US attack.. I actually feel offended when people around me say that they thought the whole thing was "cool" and when they ask you if you're on America's side (suggesting war & revenge) or Afghan's. What I mean is, it's not about taking sides and stuff. I don't think war and the killing of innocent lives can be justified in any way, no matter what country or religon, for that matter. Oh well. And eye for an eye, makes the world blind. Couldn't have been said better. I'm hungry!! Had chinese and chemistry tuition today. Haha, would you believe me if I said that I enjoyed all 3 and a half hours of it? :) Hurraaah!
DANCING CHEEK TO CHEEK
Happening day. Ha. I'm dead tired.
As usual, school was an absolute bore. Maybe except for the talks we had, one was on a Singapore international volunteer group for under-developed counties and the other was on self-image. Well, well, what do you know. I took some sort of a personality test (the lamest one by far) and I'm supposed to be a "Golden Retriver". See, it's lame.
After school, for the next few hours I had some fun which I haven't had for a long time. Mwaha. Not really, but I don't have to tell you. Oh well, it's a special day. Technically the day doesn't exsist anymore, but well, it does to me. Its been one year, and time certainly flies doesn't it? Sigh, sigh. :) Teehee, I'm seeing stars.
Errm. Just came back from the acapella night at Blue Moo. :) Mmm, must say that I enjoyed it quite a bit. The singing was good and very, very entertaining! I shall give special mention to Ngam (correct?) that sang some old cartoon theme songs. Think Carebears, Ghostbusters, Gummy Bears and My Little Pony! Ooooo. :) The performance by Budak Pantai was great too- really funny and everything. Oo well. Good, good.
Anyway, while everyone analyses the recent terrorist attacks and speculate the coming of war, I remembered a few quotes I read recently.
"It is becoming more and more obvious that it is not starvation, not microbes, not cancer, but man himself who is mankind's greatest danger." - Carl Jung.
"The real problem is in the hearts and minds of man. It is not a problem of physics but of ethics. It is easier to denature plutonium than to denature the evil spirit of man." - Albert Einstein
What we have on earth is really insignificant to what we have in store for us in heaven. I'm thankful that God answered my prayers today :)
Fear is building up amongst everyone. I don't know- everything can be so unpredictable. But anyway, I feel that I don't know enough to be able to come up with my own stands on whether WW3 will start. Hm, but if so, Singapore would be as good as gone. It's true right?
You know, time flies. It's been one year and the flowers are still sitting pretty.
Mm, I'm rachel. And. These would have to be me, playing around
with the minicam. O, I don't always look this shocked
/frightened/ silly/ dorky/ surprised/ weird.
This is my favourite girly flower-girl dress. Ha.
Underaged; 15. S'porean student.
Narcissist & pig! Hurrah. I like vintage stuff, 80s
cartoons & the Gilmore Girls. Science & math
are my nemeses.
I'm boring- I know! Eep.
what the blah blah blah blah blah!
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